1) Rock Bottom and the Casa Verde store will not open until 7 or 8 pm on Thanksgiving (this Thursday), depending on how many Turkey coladas I have at Bill-dini’s.
2) DJ GuyPod show this Friday night, 10 pm.
3) Angelo Cordero surf pic slideshow this Saturday 10 pm (supposing I can figure out how to hook up the new DVD player by then.
Word to your mother.
In 7 days, hopefully everyone will be headed for a painful food coma. In 8 days, DJ GuyPod will return to the Rock Bottom one ring circus to help you dance of those Turkey Day leftovers. The show last Friday stunned the ladies (probably) and left them all wanting more - more of his trademark hot pink spandex, or less of it. DJ GuyPod was too drunk on the melodies (and Jack Daniels) to be sure of anything. The show on the 28th promises to be totally nucking futs!
Our live-in sommelier, Franc, just restocked our wine cellar (located right across from our beer fridge). New to the racks are some full bodied red varietal blends, some crisp, not-too-woodsy, chilled Chardonnays (chill not actually provided), and lighter-than-morning-dew Pinot Grigios. Franc also went the extra mile and contacted the vintners at the site of his original sommeliership, Boone’s Farm, and managed to obtain for us and for you a few precious and highly sought after bottles of Strawberry Hill flavored, screw-top swill. That’s right, the brand backed by Kid Rock is now available at Casa Verde. If you still doubt this varietal’s street-cred, just check out the song Strawberry Wine by country sanger Deanna Carter. If you aren’t familiar with this love ballad, it’s about a vivacious teenage country girl who cavorts with her grandfather’s hunky farm hand (who, by the way, was old enough to vote - call the law!). This older lad, in much more poetic terms of course, gets Little-What’s-Her-Face buzzed on strawberry wine and takes her for an incredibly meaningful (or meaningless, depending who you ask) roll in the hay. So you know it works!
Note: If you think Thunderbird, Mad Dog, or Night Train might see some rack-time in our store anytime soon and that you can save a few bucks on the Boone’s, you are mistaken and should stay out in the gutter where you belong, you low-brow troglodyte!
Tomorrow night Rock Bottom has plans of being a one ring circus. Mike will be your ringmaster, but he’ll be sticking his head into our fiercely stocked beer coolers, not a lion’s mouth. At stage left, DJ Guy-Pod will be kickin’ it the way only he can, pumping out jams smoother than Play-Doh noodles with imaginary marinara. Mmm, Mmm! Look for the hot pink spandex again. He’s knows it’s not what you want, but it is what you need. Bring your dancin’ pants and maybe your sunglasses too because DJGP is bringing his disco lights, laser beams, and fog machine. Wipe that look of disbelief off your face - Icelandic DJs don’t lie. But they do shave their mustaches off. Sorry ladies, no free rides this time. Come on down and see who’s preventing forest fires. Hint: they’ll probably be staring at the laser patterns on the wall.
Current standings in the RBCV hair farming contest: (* denotes late entry)
1 - Mike
2 - DooDoo
3 - Ding Don*
4 - Bill-dini* (Rincon’s #1 Magician)
5 - Joe*
6 - Kelly Slater
Contest insider info: Mike is the real deal. Sicker follicles than most. DooDoo’s hair may be attached to his hat. That’s grounds for disqualification. Ding Don is back sans perm, which = longer locks. Bill-dini grows it fast, that magical bastard. Joe just cut his hair yesterday. His heart doesn’t seem to be in it, but he’s still beating SL8R.
Bite Me
Golden Boy
The season is nearly upon us. We have been seeing more faces of strangers as well as stranger faces. A couple flocks of hottie touristas have already been sighted too, which reminds me, it’s time to dust of my VCR and my 8 Minute Abs video. I gotta get tuned up and shed my layer of summer blubber because chicks love six-packs, which is why it’s so great to work at Casa Verde where we have like infiniti six-packs of beer for sale. We also just got our new bev-fridge. It keeps our beers, in the words of that Bobby Brown Ghostbusters song, almost, “too cold to hold.” Also, the sliding doors on the fridge are still pretty stiff so you get a killer chest work out every time you go for a YooHoo. So come on down for a cold beer. If you don’t know me, I’ll be the guy with man-boobs doing laundry on my stomach.
After a three day closing for fall cleaning, Rock Bottom will re-open and rock out once again tonight. We’ve tweaked the place a little. Potato Head Pauly and the smoking octopus board have been accessorized and are now dressed for any occasion. We’ve added a timeout corner for the mongoloids, a measuring stick for our new carnival ride, and some new words of wisdom in the rafters from everyone’s favorite magician, Bill-dini pertaining to his most fundamental slight-of-hand technique. Coming soon is the RBCV pants-off dance-off. With our new fog machine and disco lights (and with DJ Guy-Pod waiting in the wings) we’ll be ready funk you up as hard as you can handle.
BAAAAAARgh FOOD!!! The season is almost upon us and Rock Bottom has the “new” menu ready to go. We’ll still be pumping out the dopest burgers in Puerto Rico along with quesadillas, wings, handmade mozz sticks, and your other bar food faves - now including a steak ‘n’ cheese sandwich. We made the salads walk the plank. Vegetarians and scallywags beware, we still have veggie burgers - but if we are what we eat, we’re hot tasty meat! Was that a hiaku? Almost. See you soon at Rock Bottom, where you get your grub-on and drink-on in Rincon.