The Moet and Alize keep me pissy…
Girls used to dis me. Now they write letters cuz they miss me.
Oh really Biggie? Let’s talk more about that pissy part because we just got us a fancy new urinal at Rock Bottom. I think it’s the same urinal they have on the space shuttle. It’s definitely the kind Doc Brown would have put in the Delorian – if the Delorian was a camper instead of a coupe. Peeing into this thing is like peeing into the future, which is kind of what you’re doing when you’re peeing (I’d have to ask Stephen Hawking for some clarification on that). Anyway, this thing doesn’t use any water! Not only is this a contribution to the environment but also to the confusion of guys taking a leak, both of which are part of our mission statement at Casa Verde. The plaque that came with it says it saves 40,000 gallons of water per year per urinal, on average. That’s 40,000 more gallons of water we can drink to make us pee more in the water-free unrinal, thus saving more and more water. What a lovely cycle! The plaque also says “hands-free,” which means you don’t have to touch it to flush it. It doesn’t mean you flat out shouldn’t be holding on to anything while you’re going. I want to add a sign in there just to mess with people. I’m think something like, “To flush, clap hands twice.” Or, “Voice Activated Flushing System: Yell ‘Ouch it stings! It burns!’ to flush.” Sad thing is somebody would definitely try it.
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